


My Heart Changes With The Moon

by bootlegtruth



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Blood???, Bottom Bobby, Character Death, Crime, Light Angst, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Murder, Read at Your Own Risk, Sex for Money, Suicide, Toxic Relationship, actual trigger warning for:, again i apologize, all because i got bored while watching buzzfeed unsolved, really and i mean REALLY fucked up bobby, trigger warning for:
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:35:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23170312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bootlegtruth/pseuds/bootlegtruth
Summary: In which Bobby would do anything for Hanbin. For as long as he'd like, he'd get his hands dirty in his name. Even though, he knows full well Hanbin would never do the same.
Relationships: Kim Hanbin | B.I/Kim Jiwon | Bobby
Comments: 22
Kudos: 47





	My Heart Changes With The Moon

**Author's Note:**

> The plot is inspired by Heathers (both the movie and the musical, yup yup!). It's very unsettling and maybe even uncomfortable to read for some. Sorry for that. No fluff today lmao.
> 
> The title is inspired by this [music video.](https://youtu.be/mRsYc6ZmSgE)
> 
> The movie they watched was Juno and the song was "Anyone Else But You"
> 
> Also, Hanbin and Bobby are in high school. Junhoe's in college and older than them. Yunhyeong's a drop out.

For years it stayed like this. Bobby was...Hanbin's.

"I got an offer for you." Junhoe tosses him a can of beer, he complains about it not being cold but he shoves him off. There's only so much a quick sneak in would do. 

Hanbin's legs were stretched out on his lap, crossed and relaxed. Bobby's fingers were playing with his knees, tapping at it just the way Hanbin likes. It doesn't tickle. It's just enough. He sits up to lift Bobby's chin, turning his head to his direction so he could face him. He lights his cigarette using the flicker on Bobby's and he laughs. 

"Mr. Spoiled Brat wants to fuck you." Junhoe continues. He turns the lighter on his hand off and on a few times as he stares at the both of them. His uniform's all soiled up, from the dirt and rain. Junhoe had ran to the gazebo. Nobody had seen him. 

"What a shame. I don't want to fuck him." Bobby takes out the stick in between his lips and replaces it with the can of beer in his hand. He's never gotten acquainted with its taste. He still makes the same disgusted expression every single time. Hanbin's smiling while watching him. He stretches his arm and lays out his palm, asking if he could take a sip. Bobby gives in naturally. He always does. 

"Hey fucker, listen." Yunhyeong sits up from where he was comfortably lying down to point his finger at Bobby. "He said he's willing to pay you tenfold if you fuck him. Take it because I'm tired of stealing from Liah." 

"You still steal money from your girlfriend? How miserable are you?" Bobby chuckles, his eyes disappearing as he watches Yunhyeong get restrained by Junhoe. The laughter dies down in his throat when a hand makes it way on his arm, going up and down as if tranquilizing him, calming him down so he could obey. Hanbin had his eyes on him, lips lifted to the side in a smirk. 

"Do it." His voice was like a whisper. Yet it was too loud for everybody to hear and he sighs in surrender. Of course he would want him to do it. 

"Good. Talk to him, Hanbin-ah. That bastard only listens to you, anyway." Yunhyeong raises up both of his hand and Junhoe lets him go.

Bobby takes the can of beer from Hanbin's hand and finishes it in one go. He removes his fingers on his knees but lets him rest his head on his shoulder. As he brings his shaking fingers—with a cigarette stuck in between—up to his mouth, he says, "Fine. I'll do it." 

Hanbin never passes up an opportunity to show how much of a dog he is. 

He owns this much of him. Each and every part. 

For years, it didn't change.

  
///////

  
It was never his intention to steal. He's good at it but his hand tremor gets the best of him. The only thing stopping him from taking the wallet on the back pocket of Koo Junhoe's pants was his hands closing in tightly on his neck.

"You're trying to steal from me? Let me tell you something..." He looked down on the name tag pinned on the chest of his uniform to identify him. "Kim Jiwon." 

Bobby has his teeth gritted, his eyebrows meeting in one line. He tried to kick Junhoe on the shin so he could loosen up and escape, but he was choking and his mind was going blank. He's going to die like this. 

"What's inside my wallet is stolen too, you punk!" He let him go at once. Bobby fell on his knees, coughing loudly he thought there'd be blood on the floor. 

He lifted his head up slowly when he heard someone laugh. A mocking giggle that has been ingrained in his brain right after he regained his senses. The boy went down on the floor to level with him, a rough hand planted on his cheek and Bobby pushed it away, glaring. 

"I know you, Bobby." He hated the way he smiled at him. How the guy seemed to humiliate him in his head with how he looked at him, not with pity but with compassion. He still felt pathetic. 

"Have you been bullied a lot?" Behind his eyes were a painting of concern. Bobby's never seen that in someone before. He must be looking at the bruises on his face. He turned his head away from him so he couldn't see how vulnerable he was and mock him for it.

"Hanbin, let's go." The guy looked back at Junhoe and stood up. _So that's his name._

"Did he really steal from you?" They weren't going away. It should've been the perfect time for him to escape but he found himself stuck, kneeling pathetically on the floor like his life has been suck out of him. 

He flinched when Hanbin took his chin in between his fingers to make him look up. But he doesn't push him away this time. Instead, he listened to what he was about to say. 

"Come with us." 

  
Bobby puts his arm around Hanbin as they pretend to walk to their respective class. They visited the gazebo awhile ago but Hanbin has other plans in mind. He's had enough of his History teacher shaming him in front of the class. At least Bobby would never call him as such. Would never even lay a finger on him without his consent. Bobby follows him well. 

"Where'd you want to go?" He leans in to whisper in his ear, chapped lips brushing on his cheek. He lets go of his hold on Hanbin's shoulder to slide it down his waist. Hanbin allows it. 

"Just somewhere alone with you." Hanbin continues walking, not even sparing him a glance while they stay by each other's side. Bobby thinks he should've been used to it by now. Hanbin says a lot of things. Not all of them are true. "I want you all to myself." That's when he takes a look, lips forming a smile as if he knows what weakens him. Hanbin has the upper-hand. He plays with his cards well. 

"I saw you coming out of Kim Jinhwan's car." Hanbin tells him a thousand lies, yet every time his lips travel from his jaw down to his neck, he forgets about all of it. Sometimes, he lets himself believe. Once or twice, Hanbin would slip and say that he loves him. Bobby would nod and kiss him, saying he does too. 

The realization after his short-lived post-coital bliss was the hardest part of it. Bobby wishes it was true. Not once or twice, but everlasting. He wishes it was unending. 

Hanbin unbuttons the top of his uniform one by one, his hands were frantic as if they were going to get caught if he doesn't move fast. Bobby places his hand over them, helping him through it, easy and slow. Because they wouldn't get caught. Bobby knows that for sure. 

"Yeah, what about it?" He takes off his shirt, leaning down to meet Hanbin's mouth, making him open it with his tongue as he welcomes Hanbin's own in a kiss so unforgiving. He wonders what has he done this time. 

"You fucked him?" Bobby extends his lips so that they weren't too far away after Hanbin pulls apart. He kisses his cheeks, his nose, his temple. 

"I haven't yet." He says, hovering on Hanbin's equally chapped lips, still plump and inviting nevertheless. He uses his tongue to dampen it but Hanbin pushes his chest so that he's slumped back on the wall. 

"Ah, I'm getting jealous." Hanbin puckers his lips before he pulls the bottom one in between his teeth. 

"You're the one who told me to do it." Bobby reasons, fingers playing on the back of Hanbin's neck. He waits for him to feel the shiver, or purr. Just let him take control for once. There's nothing left for Bobby to lose. 

"I'm regretting it now. Would you not do it for me?" It has been long ago since he's come to accept Hanbin's eyes were his weakness. One glint of plea, one sliver of hope and he's gone. 

"No." He wasn't sure how he managed to grab Hanbin by the hair, pulling his head down. He leans in to sink his teeth on the soft skin of his neck, pleased to hear Hanbin's whimper, a sign of weakness too. "I'm not your fucking dog." He licks the bruising purple mark before he leaves him by himself. 

He doesn't let him win this time. 

It doesn't feel good.

  
///////

  
"Fuck off. Boy's just got back from his sugar daddy's house." Junhoe ruffles his hair and Bobby smiles furtively, slapping his hand away. He sits beside Hanbin who offers him a cigarette that he gladly accepts. 

"How was it?" Hanbin's not looking at him, tossing him a lighter so he can help himself.

"So-so. He invited two other people. They took turns." He shrugs, warming up his hands inside the pocket of the loose hoodie he's wearing. The ashes fall on the new sneakers Kim Jinhwan bought for him. Bobby tries burning his wrist just to make a reaction out of Hanbin and he stifles a smile when he was hindered. Hanbin's grasp on his arm was firm. "Knock it off." He mouths.

"Heard you got spit-roasted. How true?" Yunhyeong snickers, and even more when Bobby throws a glare at him. 

"Doesn't matter. I got the money." He rummages inside his pocket to show them a handful, shoving a rolled up 50s in their hand. 

"Let's have a drink tonight, then. I'm buying a shit ton of booze until I collapse." Junhoe punches Yunhyeong jokingly on the chest. They leave to buy another pack because Hanbin doesn't want to share his. Bobby was always the exception. 

He takes Hanbin's head to push it and let it rest on his shoulder. Hanbin doesn't complain, he blows out his smoke in Bobby's face and watches as he coughs. He giggles, staring at his eyes and rubbing his palm on his cheek. "You look beautiful when you can't breathe." He whispers. 

Bobby kisses his forehead. His lips lingering longer than what was intended. "I'm going to buy that shoes you like, hmm? You keep telling me about it way back. Are you still interested?" 

Hanbin only hums. He wasn't sure if that means he is or if he's not satisfied with him enough. In all honesty, Hanbin confuses the fuck out of him. 

Bobby's only bad habit was Hanbin. He can't seem to kill it with fire. 

Hanbin takes him to nowhere, yet everytime he holds his hand he has gone miles and miles away. Hanbin was surface rough and edges sharp, but Bobby doesn't mind a little bit of blood. 

They went to the rooftop of Yunhyeong's old and dusty apartment. He observes Hanbin's every move, takes in how his Adam's apple bobs up and down whenever he drinks and how the bottle meets his lips. Hanbin's fixated on the stars above. Bobby waits for his turn. 

"They fucked you, didn't they?" He starts. Bobby rests his back on the railings. He thinks about all the time he hoped to just fall and never be caught. To dive and break his neck, or sleep and never wake up. 

"That was the point though. What else would they do?" Hanbin faces him, his expression dark as if telling him he's being ridiculous. 

"You know exactly what I meant." But he doesn't. He can't figure him out. Till now he keeps on trying. 

The air that surrounds them was freezing, save from the scorching hot burn of Hanbin's rejection when he reaches out for his arm. 

Like gasping for oxygen after a swim or digging one's own grave, Bobby thinks it's all the same. In the end, he will have a death not worth remembering. He will die alone. Even from afar, no one will be looking. 

"What was that song again? The one from the movie we watched a few weeks ago?" Hanbin seems to calm down now. He's leaning back at the railings too, just like him. Arms crossed and cheeks flushed from drinking and the wind.

"I don't remember." He lies, grinning when Hanbin rolls his eyes because he knows full well that he remembers. Bobby had memorized it when Hanbin showed interest in that particular song, humming it occasionally, unconsciously, nearly everywhere they go. 

Hanbin pulls him closer, cutting their short distance and steadying himself by holding his waist. "Sing it for me." 

And Bobby has no right to refuse when it's Hanbin doing the talking. He starts with, "You're a part time lover and a full time friend." Hanbin hums with him, nodding along even though his voice was scratchy and out of tune. "The monkey on your back is the latest trend." 

Bobby laughs when Hanbin kisses him quickly. He finishes off with, "I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you." And that makes Hanbin laugh too. He stares at him all giggly, his shoulders shaking as does, all eyes on him. 

This is the only time he wished he's never thought of dying ever again. One laugh to make him feel alive. From him and no one else. 

  
///////

  
"Take off your clothes." Hanbin commands, removing his own. He doesn't break their eye contact even so. He raises a brow at Bobby who wasn't doing anything. 

"I'd like to keep it on." Bobby says. Hanbin shakes his head and glares at him. He turns around to let his back face him, leaning down and pulling Bobby's pants to his knees. He takes his cock in his hand, teasing it with licks until it gets hard.

Bobby's gripping on his thigh. He releases a satisfied hum when he feels the cool air hit him from behind when Bobby exposes him, dipping his tongue on his tailbone and down to his hole, circling it, sucking on it, shaking his head from side to side. Hanbin shudders.

"I'm sure Kim Jinhwan doesn't know you want it like this?" He swirls his tongue on the tip of Bobby's cock, giving him only the friction of his lips rubbing on his shaft. "I bet he doesn't even want to get his pretty little mouth dirty." He takes him in deep until his spit pools down Bobby's groin.

He squints his eyes to find deep purple marks on the inside of Bobby's thighs. He hasn't seen him in a week yet the bruises still looks fresh. They haven't faded one bit. 

He gets off of Bobby to face him. Bobby averts his gaze, teeth pulling at the skin of his lips anxiously until they bleed. 

"Take your clothes off. Now." His tone of voice was sharp and demanding. Bobby finds it in himself to listen, as if compelled, he removes his top, revealing another set of dark bruises on his chest, on his waist, on his left upper arm. When he reaches out his fingers to touch him, Bobby flinches. 

"They did this to you?" He asks. 

"It doesn't hurt." Bobby explains, still not looking at him. "They were into some fucked up shit and asked me if I could do it for them. I was fine with it." 

"Why would you let them do this?" Bobby sits up, both of his hand on Hanbin's hips. He shakes his head to tell him he's alright. 

"I'll buy you anything you want." Is all he says. 

Hanbin pushes him harshly on the bed, yanking his pants off completely. He spits on his fingers and shoves it up Bobby's ass, getting the lube to squirt some and fuck it inside. Bobby's biting on his arm, watching closely how mad Hanbin had gotten.

"You'd do anything for me? You'd get fucking hurt for me?" He rolls a condom on his cock and lines himself up to push past Bobby's entrance. He takes his arms away from his face and traps it above his head. Bobby could naturally revert their positions. He could punch him off him in one move but he doesn't. He lets Hanbin have his way. 

Hanbin kisses the bruises he knows Bobby had suffered. He brings forth his nipple into his mouth, licking at it fervently until Bobby part his lips, gasping. 

The pace he'd set for himself was slow and taunting, to make sure Bobby could feel every throb of his cock, every missed beat as he trembles above him because of the tightness he's feeling. Bobby's sinking his fingers on his shoulder, he never once closed his eyes. 

"I don't want to touch you." Hanbin tells him, sending a gaze so fiery Bobby bursts up in flames. "I don't want your fucking money." 

So, Bobby touches himself, jerking his cock off frenziedly, hoping to match Hanbin's pace in and out of him. He comes on his stomach first, a loud groan escaping his lips. Hanbin follows, burying himself so deep inside of him when he does. 

"Please don't get mad at me." Bobby's voice was ragged when he speaks, brushing the hairs that cover Hanbin's face to the side and tucking it behind his ear. He doesn't get an answer but Hanbin collapses on top of him, cheek squished on his chest. 

Bobby wraps his arm around him, securing him close and tight. "I'd fucking kill for you." He whispers before kissing the crown of Hanbin's head. 

  
///////

  
Theft, adultery, murder, he's seen it all. 

Bobby's didn't have a permanent family. He jumped from one to another because nobody wanted him enough to let him stay. He hadn't felt being taken care of, or loved. All the things he was taught was how to survive. 

He's not in highschool for education. He accepted long before that he doesn't really have a future. He's here because of _him_. He's always been the sole reason of his existence. 

Bobby used to have a father who brings home different women from time to time. Right in front of his wife, with no shame. He'll hear them at night, trying to keep it down and failing to do so. As though he has no guilt, Bobby slept peacefully. It doesn't concern him. 

Bobby used to have a mother who goes home during the day, out all night without a trace of being found. Everytime she's home, they'd have lots of food to eat, new sets of clothes to wear, books to read. His step brother told him she finally found a stable job at the supermarket four blocks away. Bobby was the first to figure out she had whored herself and stole from the guys she fucked. They almost died trying to get away. 

Bobby used to have an aunt by his side every night. She would touch him here and there, in places even he had never explored himself. She would tell him to be quiet or else they'd get caught. She had willed herself to believe that Bobby wanted it too. She would slap him if he cried, or if he made the slightest sound or whimper. Because it hurt. Bobby was hurt and he reasoned his suffering to justify why he killed her. He stabbed him in the chest and stared directly in her eyes as life runs out of her. Until she turned a lifeless blue and until he turned a bloody red. 

Bobby used to think he could get away with everything. As long as it was for Hanbin, he doesn't need to second guess, or to have regrets, or to doubt, or to be guilty. 

"Don't cry. What happened? Tell me." Hanbin falls and he welcomes him in an embrace, rubbing his back to calm him down. Junhoe was standing beside them, lighting a cigarette as if it was a normal occurrence. Just another day in the gazebo. Hanbin crying and Bobby consoling him. 

"Junhoe, what happened?" He lifts his head to look up at him, eyes asking for answers Hanbin couldn't give as of the moment. 

"He's a crybaby. Suck it up, dude." Junhoe scoffs, tossing Yunhyeong his pack while shaking his head. 

"Shut up. Shut the fuck up!" Hanbin trashes on the ground, pointing at Junhoe in anger. Bobby contains him, tightening his hold. His heart throbbing two times faster than what's normal from nervousness. What's wrong with Hanbin? Why is he crying so much?

"You can tell me." He says against his hair, rocking the both of them back and forth. 

"He got fucked and he couldn't handle it. That's what happened." Yunhyeong releases smoke through nose after he answered. His tone of voice a mixture of anger and mockery. It makes Hanbin shake even more.

"Is that true?" He doesn't let anyone else hear it but Hanbin. He's so close to him that he could swear he actually feels how much he's struggled. 

"He touched me. Here and here. And here, fuck." Hanbin's punching his chest like he's taking out his anger on him. He doesn't shy away from it. He doesn't shield himself. "I didn't let him but he still did. Bobby, what should I do? He's out to get me. I ran and took away his money. I'm so fucking scared." 

"Give the money back and apologize, you moron." Yunhyeong spits on the ground and steps on it, throwing away the shortest cigarette he's ever huffed on. They're running low on sticks. 

"Don't worry." He shushes him, still rubbing his arm, planting soft kisses on his temple. "I'll take care of it. Don't worry." 

As evil as what he's seen, it's not as half as what he's done. Bobby knows everything about Hanbin. 

Hanbin knows nothing about Bobby. 

  
///////

  
Kim Jiwon. 

His real father died on the 1st of May. The rain was heavy and his mother was holding his hand so tight that it actually felt like he was the one holding onto hers. They waited for the rain to stop until they can finally have a proper burial. His body stayed on their bed. He and his mother slept on the floor instead. The drizzle never seemed to die down.

It started to smell after a day or two. He covered his nose everytime he went inside the house. His mother smiled at him like nothing had happened. Like her husband hadn't died and his body's not rotting in the bedroom. Like she can't even smell him. 

Sometimes, he would watch her try to feed his cold and breathless father. She would get mad if he doesn't open his mouth. She would cry if he doesn't respond. She would kiss him every night before she sleeps. The house reeked of death and desperation. His father's dead body stinks as hell. 

It wasn't long until the neighbors found out. The look of horror in their faces when they saw his father's corpse on the bed, two-weeks old and decomposing, his mother hanging from the ceiling. Her legs dangling from side to side with a smile on her face as if she was blissed to be meeting him soon.

Bobby has it saved in his memory. The smell of death, the smile of the dead, the feeling of dying. 

He stares at his blood-covered hand and the same knife he used to kill his pretend aunt a few years back. Remorseless and unrepentant. He's done it again.

Bobby walks closer to Hanbin to wipe the tears off his eyes, falling down rapidly, shock painting his face. He steps back. Bobby halts. 

"You killed him." He mutters it silently, like he was saying it more to himself than accusing Bobby. Like he couldn't believe he would do such a thing and it isn't real. 

"He hurt you." Bobby's explaining desperately. Why was Hanbin afraid? What has he done wrong this time? Why isn't he running to hug him, instead he's backing away as if he's seen a monster?

"You're fucking crazy!" Hanbin shouts this time, pointing at him, blaming him. He wipes the tears that blurs his vision harshly and studies Bobby's bloody state. "Don't come near me, please. Don't—Don't kill me." 

That was irksome for Bobby. He would never hurt him. Not even in his dreams. Not even in his deepest darkest nightmare. No matter how much Hanbin hated him. "I'd kill for you, you know that right?" 

Hanbin's shaking his head, crying even more. He wants to ask for help. Wants to flee and forget this ever happened. 

It's a helpless case. Bobby's not planning to let him go this time. "I'm in love with you, Hanbin." He runs to catch him, wrapping his arm and hugging him from behind as Hanbin tries his best to escape, kicking anywhere he sees fit, shaking his head vigorously. This isn't Bobby. It has to be someone else. 

"You know I'd do anything for you." His voice was grim on his neck, a chill running down his spine and blood tainting his cheek. "Just tell me what you want. I've been good, Hanbin-ah. I'm sorry I scared you." 

"Let me go." He grits, sobbing as Bobby pulls his earlobe in between his teeth. 

"Please don't get mad at me." He felt the fabric covering his shoulder dampening. Bobby was crying. "Please don't leave—"

Hanbin releases a sigh of relief when Bobby falls down, grip on his body loosening. He cries even more. With his knees on the ground, Bobby's eyes reflect that of his image. Still stuck staring at him even on his last breath. Junhoe kicked him to the ground. 

"He killed a rich kid and his rich Daddy's on his way to get us. You better fucking run." 

  
///////

  
Hanbin's knew of him now. He spent hours and hours of hiding, asking everyone what happened to Kim Jiwon. 

Nobody knows for sure. Some says he's been sold overseas the minute he was born. Some says he's been gone to prison after killing his aunt. That he was taken into custody by one of his step mother's client. 

Everybody seems to remember a certain event in his life when he was alive.

Only Hanbin remembers his death. 

The day Junhoe got out of prison, he had beaten him up to a pulp. Hanbin endured every second of it. It was his fault Junhoe was caught anyway. He ratted him out because his guilt was eating him up.

For hours, he'd seen _him_ by his side. Asking if he was fine or if he was hurt. He'd make sure to hug him, and comfort him. He heard him say, _"Nobody will hurt you now."_

He wonders if he had protected Bobby the way he always did for him. How fucked up had his mind gone to resolve to taking a life? All for a boy who doesn't care about him. 

He has no idea if Bobby was ever buried. Or if he was left out there to rot just like what happened to his father. 

"You'd be surprised." Hanbin turns to his back to see a familiar figure, coming out of the woods. His face was rugged and dirty, as if he's been dead for a long time. His genuine smile before had faded into that of something sinister. Something vile. He's holding a bloodstained butcher knife on his right hand.

"Bobby..."

"You know I'd kill for you...right?" 

Junhoe's decapitated head was on his left.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> I'm here sometimes: [@bootleglies](https://mobile.twitter.com/bootleglies)


End file.
